if i did it

Haven't posted for a while because nothing is going on. At least not with the book. Things are going along swimmingly otherwise, but the big flurry of interviews, readings, jet-setting, hob-nobbing, etc. seems to have quieted down. Maybe it's the holidays coming up. Or maybe everyone is too excited about the new OJ book to bother with my little creation, since it's apparently small beans compared to the sensational not-really-a-confession-but-if-I-had-been-the-one-to-turn-my-wife-into-a-human-Pez-dispenser-this-is-how-I-may-have-done-it sort of story. I guess those are, sadly, much more interesting to the masses. They get the press. And will sell millions more copies than Beachglass ever will. Well...sales figures aside, I'd still rather be me than him. I don't want to write an "If I Did It" -- what would I write it about? If I did what? If I sold some more books, maybe. If I actually worked on my alleged second novel (more than the 25 bad pages I have so far). If I posted to my blog more often. If I got my Christmas shopping done early this year. If we got that new bathtub and re-tiled the bathroom floor. If I ironed. If I switched back to caffeinated coffee. If I wore socks with sandals like everyone else in Seattle. If I were a carpenter. If I could turn back time. If I cared about OJ writing a book about neck-slicing. The possibilities really are endless.

Hey, idea: OJ and Britney Spears could team up for a duet . . .
"Oops, if I did it again."